If panic! at the disco was metal

YES PLEASE

No Phun Intended

       Ok. After procrastinating since last year, I have finally found time and willpower to make an iTunes file of Tyler Joseph's "No Phun Intended". I hope to find a more reliable way to send it to people other than Google Drive. It has the album picture, artist, and I also made it to where it says it's by Tyler Joseph, but the album shows up in the Twenty One Pilots section. Just let me know via email if you want it, and maybe I can send it through email. It has 18 out of 19 songs, because apparently 'Chords" does not exist on the internet. I guess that song is too personal for Tyler. Anyway, ya. Glad to have the information and songs all organized now.

My email I'll use for this is: nickentity@gmail.com
(Unless you have a better way to get it out publicly)


                                                                      Stay sick, clique. |-/

To My Leaf

Not what the songs meaning is, but it beautifully explains what I feel...

"It's hard to think when losing someone only make you wanna scream
And now that you're gone

Sleep well, my friend
There will be another moment we'll meet again
Just let it go
Sleep well, goodnight
You're something to remember
I wish that you were here by my side..." 

Psychology for Dummies

What's wrong?
"Nothing" - I don't want to talk about it.
"I don't know" - I want to talk about it, but not sure how.
"I'm just tired" - I'm really low right now.
"Please leave me alone" - Leave me alone and stop talking to me... Please

Brace Yourself

I literally wish I could turn back time to the good ole days.

I wish I was 12 again.
There was nothing to care about.
I just didn't have to care.
No large school assignments.
No college.
For gosh sakes,
I spent hours on some website called "Roblox".
I'll never feel that carefree again.
It's kind of depressing.
I feel like I should've cherished that.
The nostalgia hurts.
I was so foolish then, but it was so much fun.
It didn't matter.
Nothing did.

Hello, I'm : Hysterical [EXPLICIT]

Shit... So many times have I hiked on my own blood. And too many times have I sacrificed my time for this... I have strong feelings. Often I let them bleed on the page, but what of the days with anger and writer's block?
I spend several minutes on the punching bag, bloodying my knuckles so you don't see the beast inside longing for resolve. You'll never give it to me, because you can't.
What a mess.
"If you follow me, you will only get lost
If you try to move closer, we'll only loose touch
But you already know too much...
And we're not going anywhere...
TELL ME THAT YOU NEED ME 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
say you'll never leave me cause I need you so much..."
Oh screw it I'm lost in lyrics, lost in my head once again.
Hell, call me Hysterical. I won't judge.
Can't feed me lies, because I've gotten used to the taste.
How long can I hold my breath before the blood reaches the surface of my skin, huh?
Let's count, shall we?
One. Two late.

OH Bother.

Excuse me... That's my life you're toying with... Please be gentle!
Dangit... Really? Why?... Thanks for nothing...

Recluse

I want to seclude myself, because I truly just don't want to live anymore. It just doesn't seem worth it. They're like vultures the way that they sit and look for your faults or anything else they can critique. I didn't want to say that, it's just one conversation will only end by saying one more thing, if that makes sense. What I say is true, but everything has meaning behind it. Know me. It's all I ask. Would you consider me a tamer of feelings? Maybe not? Thought not.

Leaf.

Just a Warning

For anyone who actually reads this, just warning you, if you read my blog you may or may not be subjected to some language. Now frankly, if it bothers you, that's ok, just don't read it. Sometimes my thoughts and feelings are explicit. If you come to me and say, "You don't have to, just make it PG.", then I'll just laugh and say this blog isn't meant for the enjoyment of others, yes, it's nice to have people read it, but it's actually (believe it or not) for me to vent somewhere public where hopefully I won't be persecuted. Basically what I'm saying is I wouldn't tell you to stop talking about depression because it "makes me uncomfortable", so I hope you have the courtesy to not ask me to suppress my rants. Thank you guys.

I Lack Joy

I'm thinking too much 

And now I'm drowning in my thoughts

I'm so afraid to live

Because a piece of me will rot

Every time 

I get back

From my vacation of reality

I swear

I'm attacked

And cast into insanity

A Kitchen Sink to You, is Not a Kitchen Sink to Me

drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip  I can hear the water following again. drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip A constant noise that toys with my head and in my brain. drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip I'd consult a shrink, but my kitchen sink is leaking, drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip And it's something no one else would be able to fix. drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip It's a mind game. Insanity is a mind game. drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip Is my depression sane? drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip Just because everyone has it doesn't mean I'm normal. drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip Doesn't mean I'm jumping on the bandwagon. drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip Doesn't mean I'm ok with my surroundings. drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip It's a fresh drink of water down my throat to hear a relatable statement. drip drip drip drip drip drip Because I'm so weary and tired of fighting. drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip.......