Discours d'acceptation

La fissure dans l'escalier je fumais de l'ennui. Ma cuisine est remplie avec de la viande et Cloroform. Tortiller couleurs, métastaser. Après avoir vu le monde, le fœtus mange ses propres yeux.

Loneliness (So it Goes)

I feel like all my friends are slowly leaving me.
Just one thing after another places a facade over what used to be my happiness.
Like see the world through rose colored lenses, but suddenly, realizing how many things are going wrong.
It's so hard to tell what's going right, because I'm no longer counting breathing as "right".
It gets harder every day.
I've taken those pills of sympathy others have fed me, but I think I'm about to throw them back up.
I'm disgusted at myself as I look in the mirror.
A face worthy of God turning from, no doubt.
But I digress.

I feel my fiends and I distract ourselves with various things in this world.
Getting closer to the future only brings me pain.
I used to fear the idea of going to a four year and getting a job,
However, I then realized that I was only trying to wish away the inevitable.
I'm losing my friends.
I know I am.
So is thinking about it only trying to wish away the inevitable?
I hope there's a point where if, by chance, everything is stripped from me,
My life follows;
Voiding my existence beyond reasonable means of explanation.
Your soul can never die, but a memory can.
Once ou leave your body, you live on in the memories of others,
But eventually they die.
Perhaps one die everyone who ever knew me will die, and I will no longer enter the minds of any individual.
Perhaps one day I won't even be a memory.
Just a theory; not even and idea, but a possibility.
I will be legend.
Not because people pass me down through story,
But that in which is changed throughout time.
Stripped beyond recognition.
You can replace every part of a car,
But after every part of the car is replaced,
The old car is no more.
So will I be in the future. (Give or take a hundred years or so, given I'm ever married)

I feel this is already happening, though.
I don't want knew friends.
I want my old ones back.
But each one I feel has talked to me less,
But at this point if they saw this and decided to talks to me,
I would feel less inclined to respond.
After all, I hate sympathy.
I spit it out like the Lord spits out lukewarm Christian nature.

We all die, so it goes.

Unturtled

Erm mer Gerd... Lerf ers ser herd cuz er erm er perkle. Mer erQ ers verry berd, bercerse er der nert er brern. Er erm verry sterpid. Er wernt ter der... Drerk blearch.

Ther ernd.

Fear

Anyone want to guess my deepest fear?
I'll let you know if you get it right.
But honestly it might keep me from sleeping at night.
Give it a shot,
And give me a shout.
I'll tell you what my fear is all about.

Reckless Abandon

Not what it actually means.

I feel like I'm going nowhere fast, with no direction, though.
I'm spinning out, just waiting for the crash,
But I feel like the impact already happened.
Time is just frozen, so it repeats itself because it can't and won't go forward.
I'm stuck recalling my crash.
Forced to live in the fear of what happens when i resume and feel the aftermath.
I've crashed many times before, but I don't know when I'll go through the windshield.
My car has no seat belts.

Abandoned is the other half.
Not God forsaken, of course,
But I feel like I have a lack of friends.
(The irony coming from an introvert)
I guess my logic of having so little, but strong friends is flawed,
Because I never deduced what happens when I lose them,
Or worse: they lose me.
I'm starting to resent the shell of me.

Red Tatoos

Someone please tell me why I trust a blade to make me bleed,
Yet, I can't trust myself to wake up in the morning fine.
Much less, alive.
I can say sorry all I want,
But that can't distract from the inflicted realities
Rivaling my very personality.
Change change change change change change change.

You could be ______.    ***
You should be ______.   ***
Why do you ______?      ***
You should try ______.    ***
You'd be a better person if _______.     ***
You should focus on _______.               ***

Two be honest I lose count to where it doesn't matter. 
That's not the defining point.
I'm in war. Everyday. 
Everyday is a struggle.
It's a nuisance to wake up.
I've been so sleep deprived I'm not me anymore.
I'm ready die and let [my legacy, however small] live.

"You say this is a suicide?
I say, this is a WAR.
(And I'm losing the battle)
Man down... MAN DOWN!"